Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Why blog?

An interesting question that I posed to myself today,  Why do I blog?  What spark ignited my passion to tackle this "world wide web" offering anything from dog owners posting about their furry friends to travelers critiquing resorts and the fabulous fashionista's who blog the trends on the runways.

My need to get on a virtual soap-box.

My reactions to news, events and attitudes that swirl around me, need to be told.

My need to express my thoughts into a somewhat engaging literary format is also what motivates me.  I consider myself a writer, and need a place to work on my craft.  Some stuff I write is good, some fair, and some not so good.  This blog is my practice arena.

I crave challenge, I need to push my limits and I am thankful for this outlet to be able to do so.

One writer, who is a hell of a lot better than I will ever be is Seth Godin.  He makes me think and I recommend him to all you potential "bloggers"
sethgodin.typepad.com

Thanks for reading, peace and love as always, xo vagi





Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Blog I Love!

You must all check out Vagenda Mag my fabulous friends!  It pushes the right buttons in our feminist journey!  Check it out!

http://vagendamag.blogspot.ca/

xo vagi

Friday, November 8, 2013

A Village

This posting is a thank you to all my dear friends who have come to my assistance these past few weeks.  A new job, a new puppy, a spouse away on business, a slew of meetings and two children under ten to manage.  It really does take a "village" and my village encompasses friends and relatives all of whom come to my aid and assistance.

One of the faults of us "modern" women is the ability to ask for help.  We cannot do it all, we need to depend on others, and that is ok.

My children have unique relationships with their extra mom's #1 and #2 and sometimes #3. 
We all help to nurture and discipline and love our offspring!

Embrace your village, we are all women helping women (and a little wine does not hurt!)

This is to all my girls and thank you! xo vagi

Thursday, October 17, 2013

24 Months!

On October 16th back in 2011 I entered into the unknown world of blogging.  "Definition of a Modern Woman" continues to be the most viewed and presumably read of my articles.  I still question what really defines us as women, and I embrace the opportunities and freedoms that I have as a female living in North America.

I think a truly modern woman should appreciate her gift of being able to choose, and cherish that.  All my modern ladies out there, do something today to help someone - anyone.  We are here on this world to support those who cannot support themselves and everyone needs a hug, some spare change, or just open the door and smile.

Being good to others - that is the type of Modern Woman I aspire to be.

xo vagi

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

A Dozen

I wrote this column for "The Drive Magazine" Issue 10, October 2001.
Let us remember that day, the victims, and the loss.  We need to reflect upon the past, and have continued hope for a future of peace.  xo vagi

"The Aftermath of the Tragedy"

On Monday September 17th (2001) I spent four hours in my car, not moving, just waiting for a glimpse of the custom booths on the U.S. side of the Windsor/Detroit tunnel. There was a reason why I had to sit for so long; listening to the few c.d.’s in my car and drinking lukewarm coffee.

American Airlines flight #11, United Airlines flight #175 and American Airlines flight # 77 crashed into specific “targets” in a horrific act of terrorism. All passengers and crew died. My colleagues were all affected, as we huddled around a portable black and white television brought in so we could watch with
disbelief  and anguish the day's events. The Oklahoma bombing is nothing in comparison to this. Pearl Harbour itself cannot mirror the destruction and fear instilled on this 11th day of September 2001.

Why do the innocent have to suffer at the hands of an organization so evil? Is Osama bin Laden the Hitler of the millennium? In an e-mail statement forwarded to me, Tamin Ansary writes, “When you think bin Laden, think Hitler.”

I do believe that suffering and poverty are the soil in which terrorism grows. 
bin Laden and his cohorts want to bait us into creating more such soil.

The Afghans have suffered war and tyranny since 330 BC when Alexander the Great conquered the Persian Empire and defeated the last dynasty that ruled. Modern day Afghanistan has endured the invasion of the Soviet forces in 1979 and many anti-government factions were formed. The guerrilla forces were bank
rolled by the Americans (as well by Saudi Arabia, Iran and China) and in 1986 the U.S. supplied the Afghan rebels (many based in Pakistan) with Stinger missiles. Mikhail Gorbochev ended the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan, and the final troops left in February of 1989.

Previously in May of 1988, Afghanistan, Pakistan, the USSR and the United States signed agreements to end all foreign assistance and intervention. Afghanistan was left on its own; the rebels continued their own civil war.The rebel group the Taliban (supported by bin Laden) began in 1994 and their mission was to put a halt to the civil unrest and impose strict orthodox Islamic law. Since the late 1990’s, the Taliban has controlled most of Afghanistan, bankrolled, no doubt by bin Laden, a rich Saudi Arabian who is rumored to be the man behind the terrorist bombings of the U.S. Embassies in 1998 in Kenya and Tanzania. The U.S. retaliated by launching missiles at suspected terrorist training camps. How can the U.S. gain revenge now?

New York Senator, Charles Schumer stated, “They hate us for our freedom... We don’t take anything on our knees. We’re not going to take this.”

The Globe and Mail on Saturday September 29th (2001) ran an article confirming the presence of U.S. and British Special Forces troops in Afghanistan. President Bush in the article commented, “there may
or may not be a conventional military component to the mission,... the American people won’t be able to see what we're doing.”

This is not Saving Private Ryan. There is no glory on the battlefield in our modern age of technology and nuclear weapons.  My uncle was a tank commander in WW II and would love to retell his stories of drunken nights and camaraderie while he was stationed overseas, I look at his picture taken in 1942 and know that the soldier in this war will not be telling the same stories.

The media has exposed to the world the sights and sounds of that Tuesday in September and not one of us will ever be able to erase in our mind people dropping from the sky to their death on the Manhattan streets below.

Is bombing Afghanistan the answer?
Will the American people retaliate?

As said by Schumer, “We’re not going to take this.”

Kill more innocent people? What will that solve?
Nothing.

Hunting down Osama bin Laden execution style will simply create an opening for another to take his place. The usual game of soldiers on one side of the battlefield aiming for the soldiers on the other side does not work anymore.

Robert Wright, a writer and scholar at the University of Pennsylvania shares my opinion, he states, “After all, a conventional war - a conflict between states or groups of states - is pretty straightforward. There is a clear-cut objective (control the other guy’s territory) and a clear-cut methodology (kill the other guy’soldiers)"

There are no soldiers, no uniforms to recognize the good guys versus the bad guys. This is a war that we will not see and it cannot be seen. It has changed forever the make-up of modern civilization and the global
relationships that countries share. Life must continue and more acts of terror will happen as history has shown us in Ireland alone with the British forces and the IRA. There will be innocent people killed, but hopefully, this will bring the world as we do know it today closer together and into one.

John Ashcroft, American Attorney General shares a similar view that retaliation will only cause more bloodshed and more acts of terrorism.

The war of the millennium, has, I am afraid begun.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Mind the "Gap"

The gap is not the space between platform and train at a station - it is the gap of equality in our workplace between men and women.  That gap represents various aspects in our current work environment:  gap in wages, gap in respect, gap in opportunity, gaps upon gaps.  According to Stats Canada (2011) for every one dollar a full-time working male earned, his female counterpart earned just seventy-one cents!

That gap prevents women from standing up and walking away when they are treated unfairly, it stops them from complaining about work-place harassment, it is a permanent road block for our future success, and that of our daughters.

I truly believe that our upcoming generation of "Gen X" and "Gen Y" want equality, want fairness, want dollar for dollar.  I want to believe that my younger sister upon her MBA graduation from  Queen's University this spring will make just as much as her male classmates, and she should.  It is only fair.  So let's close this gap, it is time.

xo vagi

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Inspiration

I make excuses.  Excuses why I can't get up early and walk the dog, excuses why I don't spend more time with my children, excuses why I don't have time to write.  They are lame.  I limit myself due to the importance that I place on trivial tasks.

Laundry will get done, children will be fed, floors can be dirty.  We invent excuses.

I had a magical moment today, watching an amazing performer who does not make excuses, and has to deal with major obstacles to do what he does.  Thank you Justin Hines.

Find your inspiration, and forget the soiled socks and dust gathering in the corners.

To discover the pure beauty of Justin, go to:  www.justinhines.com  

Peace and love to you, xo vagi

Monday, July 8, 2013

My "Believer"

On July 9, 1993 we lost Priscilla at age 62 due to the usual culprit known as cancer.  In her newly married years back in the early 1960's, she suffered numerous lost pregnancies. Her desire to be a mother would not be defeated by her biological shortcomings - and thanks for the "free love" movement of that era, adoption was an option, not marred by wait lists and inflated adoption fees.

Lisa & Priscilla (First meeting, Nov. 1967)

So along I came;  a year prior they adopted my brother (boys ranked, I guess).  My mother and I never really saw "eye to eye." I was a rebel from the crib and that didn't improve in my teen years or young adulthood.  She let me make mistakes and celebrated my triumphs.  Never missed a stage performance, school recital, birthday or graduation.  Always there, always cheering.  She believed in me.  

For her era, she was independent and gave me two pieces of sage advice:  Never count on anyone to support you, and get an education.  My success, for better or worse is because I always knew that no matter what decision I made (good, bad or otherwise), she believed in me.

Really, that is all we need, knowing that out there, someone believes in our abilities.  So, let someone know that you have faith in them.  
peace & love as always, xo vagi


Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Leonard Cohen, please call!

Ah, on this very day (June 18th) my dearest & oldest friend jumps over the 45 yr old hump, into the unknown of 46 (I am joining her in a few weeks)!  We have been together since 14, and survived 32 years of ups & downs, a few marriages and some children thrown in for good measure.

We never attended each other's weddings (plural), did not force each other into hideous taffeta dresses or the added embarrassment of bouquet throwing.  She does have a few wishes for her next male companion:


  • must like cats
  • must be willing to travel overland to Patagonia
  • must love Leonard Cohen

Well, I think we just need Leonard Cohen.  So, Leonard, please call a girl on her birthday. 
She is your #1 fan and would be willing to travel with you anywhere.

Thanks Leonard & Happy Birthday Nicki!

xo vagi

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Gods, Goddesses and Mentors

I spent some time this weekend with some great friends, all of whom I love and respect very much.  While I tend to be the one, due to age and experience, that they seek advice from, I found myself needing their wisdom this time.

I have used the term "mentor" mutiple times in both my work and personal life.  One gal, while we sipped cocktails and soaked up the sun, was once an intern under my guidance.  As drops beaded off our glasses, my questions continued as we quenched our thirst. She was mentor, I was the one needing her knowledge.

 It sparked my curiousity, where did mentor come from? 

So look it up dear readers.  Greek in origin, "Mentor" was friend and companion to Odysseus, who took over the role of "guide" to Telemachus, Odysseus's son, when he left for battle during the Trojan War.  The Goddess "Athena" aided in the care of Telemachus, by disguising herself as "Mentor" to impart her wisdom.

A mentor guides, shares knowledge and in my experience truly cares about nurturing and celebrating other's successes, not their own.

So support each other, love each other, and help someone who may be struggling for answers.
xo vagi

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Let's Help One of Our Own

In my small Northern ON community, something amazing has happened.  A friend, a fellow mother, a great woman has achieved academic success and recognition - now she just needs one thing:  $$$.

Her work is so complex and cutting edge in the field of mental illness, that it makes my head spin.

Terry Lee's chance to attend Oxford cannot be a dream, we need to rally to make it a reality.

Please read and donate - every little bit helps.
http://www.saultstar.com/2013/05/14/grandmother-seeks-help-to-study-schizophrenia-causes-overseas

We need to help on of our own. 

peace and love all,
vagi

Monday, May 13, 2013

Ladies Best Friend


My Girl

On May 13,2013 and my partner and I had to to take the lovely girl pictured above for that horrible one-way visit to the vet's office.  It is something you never wish for, but will most certainly happen, that is unfortunately life.

My life, however, has been filled with amazing moments with that 4-legged creature pictured above.  We have protected infant children, thrown a frisbee, scaled "mountains" and whispered secrets.  There were no rules, no one to answer too, just ourselves.

I will never have a companion like Zoe, she was a one and only and I miss her.

xo vagi

Friday, April 26, 2013

Summer of 2017

Oh, alas the reality of turning 50 hit me the other day. Upon reading an email from an arts organization that I am involved with, the subject of celebrating Canada's 150th Anniversary came up and, while I was excited for the prospect of embarking on a potential new project to mark my dear country's milestone - my own shock and horror overcame me.

The Summer of 2017 will be my 50th!  Crap!

I needed to sit down and pour myself a glass (make that two) of wine to settle my nerves.

So, I will participate in bringing forth celebratory events for Canada and, just might have to include a party or two for myself! Paris anyone? 
xo vagi


Monday, April 1, 2013

Everyday is World Autism Awareness Day in my Life

I refer to many stories about my son, Aidan who has Autism.  He was a guest at our local city council meeting on March 25, 2013 and gave his oral on being Autistic - the same oral as linked on You Tube.

The following letter came from a local music school owner, who knows my youngest son (Owen) well, through lessons.  I think the letter speaks for itself.  April 2nd is World Autism Awareness Day - it is everyday in my life, my families life and all of those who care for us.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2JilgXvvx8


Dear Aidan,
I know we have only really just met and are becoming friends, but I wanted to thank you for inviting me to come to City Counsel today to watch you recite your oral.
I have to tell you that sadly I do not know that much about Autism and I am sorry that I have not taken the time to educate myself. However, today you have opened my eyes to what i think is a very important subject to research and get involved in. I can say with all honestly, I was so touched by your oral and your ability to present it in front of such a prestigious audience. I could not hold in my tears, not because I was sad, but because I was so very proud of you and everything you have accomplished today.
I can promise to you right here and now, that i will do everything in my power to educate others who may not know or understand what Autism is all about. I also promise you Aidan, that I will get involved as much as I possibly can in any and every event, rally, concert, funday or dinner that is put on by or in conjunction with Autism Ontario.
Aidan, you changed my life today, and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you do. You are so special and I will never forget what you have done here today.
Please keep me informed on all of the up coming events that you are involved in. I will be sure to be there or participate as much as I can.
Love,
Your New Friend,
Always & Forever,
Carrie Suriano


     

























     




     

    Monday, March 18, 2013

    Boys in the News Today



    This was all over social media today & my facebook status picture gives me hope that the boys I am raising will never be referenced in a headline.  Gang rapes in India, daily rapes in every corner - we need to teach our sons that it is never OK to take advantage of someone.  I hope for peace and respect to all!  vagi

    Thursday, February 21, 2013

    The Map

    My boys, like many others have those fabulous wipe-off place mats to contain all their stickiness and spills.  This morning, like many other mornings, my 8 yr old son, Owen, was examining his "World Map" in its laminated form.  He also directed his attention to the CBC news that is typically on while I settle into coffee and some form of consciousness.

    Owen's nickname is "Little Lisa," he questions, he examines, he strives for truth and justice - and we normally argue - a lot.  He was focused on the part of the world that he only knows about via news reports - Middle East and Africa.  He wanted to know where the fighting was the most severe and what places were OK.  I told him that in most of those places, women did not have rights and that even in Saudi Arabia they are not allowed to drive a car.

    He thought that was ridiculous.  

    I also told him that some people think that if women had equal rights all over this world;  our wars, our poverty, our hate, would be diminished.  He agreed.

    So the power of the plastic place mat - if change is to happen, it has to be taught and nurtured.
    peace & love all, vagi xo

    Thursday, February 14, 2013

    How's the Patient? Have we forgotten...?

    This is an open statement to the media, to health-care practitioners and to the public at large concerning the lack of care and understanding in our medical system.  I believe, that we as Canadians have become so complacent with inadequate care, that we have ceased to question and merely accept the bad service.  

    I have a young son with Autism, who does not currently have a primary care physician.  A “bonus”, when we moved back to Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario in December of 2006, due to his level of care, was  a nurse practitioner until age five,from the Infant and Child Program at Algoma Public Health.  It apparently ceased at five, because after five, you don’t need medical care.  


    Aidan, recently developed a cavity problem and needs a tooth extraction.  We have dental coverage, he regularly visits his dentist and a referral was made to a dental surgeon.  We all agreed that the procedure should be done at the hospital and under anesthesia.  The process began, and one critical component is a physical examination and health questionnaire.  That presented a bit of a problem, he does not have a doctor, but I was confident that I could get assistance from someone to have this done quickly and efficiently.  

    After a morning of phone calls, I am recommended to call the Superior Family Health Team.  Aidan does not do well with “walk-in’s” he needs preparation and needs predictable situations, especially in a medical environment.  I search our new 211 service and the information sheet for the Superior Health Team reads:
    Eligibility:
    “Must be an enrolled patient or an orphan patient seeking specialty appointments”

    I call the appointment line and leave a message and my call is returned the same day.  I explain that my ten year old son has Autism and an infected cavity that must be extracted and requires a medical exam and questionnaire and further explain that a walk-in would not work for us.  She listens and says she will call me back.  About five minutes later my phone rings and the answer is no.  I am actually speechless, my shock and anger boiling, but I know that I should not “shoot” the messenger; not her decision, and not my style. The polite receptionist says we are welcome at the walk-in. I think Autism merits their advertised “specialty appointment.”

    I  move on to the new Nurse Practitioner Clinic - and while he can get an appointment.  He has to do an intake appointment first, then schedule the physical.  So we are looking at about mid March before anything gets done.  

    In all of this not one person has asked, “How is Aidan?”  Is he is pain, is the tooth causing him discomfort? What can we do?  I receive  better service at the deli counter, at least they ask how I want my meat sliced.

    Sunday, January 27, 2013

    Sisterhood of the Expanding Pants

    I am so thankful for all the great ladies in my life.  Girls need other girls, simple as that.
    The other night, I had the opportunity to hang with two of my "oldest" friends.  Both in number of years of friendship and age.  We have been through teen drama, first(um, and maybe second) marriages, divorces, children and have remained true "sisters" throughout all of it.

    One of us teaches English to foreign students and introduced some of her female students to the "Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants" series - easy to read and in many ways transcends to other cultures.  They asked what "sisterhood" was - well, I am proud to say it is all of us.  We all need to support each other.

    In North America, we, as women have freedom - we need to embrace that and help our other sisters that don't.  I was adopted and met my "sisters" into my 30's- and I am so blessed to have them and wish I lived closer.  I do want to dedicate this blog to one very important sister, who has stood by me since we were 14 - love you, xo vagi


    Lisa (vagi) & Nicki
    Sisters for over 30 yrs!