$7.95

Today I got out of the house, feeling the need to escape from my germ infested holiday.  The stomach flu hit the Vezeau-Allen household with gusto this season.  So after various sleepless nights and multiple loads of laundry I hit the snowy sidewalks to get some air and take care of some errands.

We missed holiday parties, cancelled our own New Year's party and I was feeling tired and just relieved to get rid of 2012.  My list was short and easily taken care of at a local Dollar Store (they have everything!).  The cash line was getting lengthy and the woman in front of me with two girls, was busily trying to count out her change for some bottles of pop and a few bags of chips - their New Year's treat it seemed.  The nickles and dimes made a quick sound on the counter that echoed her anxiety.  Her bill was $7.95.

No one was noticing her struggle, just concentrating on their own annoyance of waiting.  I opened my wallet and gave her all the quarters I had - about $1.75.  She had enough and thanked me.

I want to thank her for giving me the opportunity.  Sure I had sleepless nights and chunks flying from my 8yr old's upper bunk - but I have a home, steaks to cook tonight and don't have to pull together my loose change for my purchases.

Happy New Year everyone & keep your change handy, never know who might need it.

xo vagi

It's OK kids, Gay is alright

I watched a documentary on the Canadian TVO station  last night (www.tvo.org) titled, "Why Poverty" International Program.  It followed the work that has been done by Bono, Bob Geldolf, Bill Gates and company.  It delved into their past battle with the Bush administration to support more funds for drugs to treat those infected with HIV in Africa.    What struck a cord with me was the gay intolerance, the fear by some that the drugs would "feed" homosexuality.

I had a brief chat with a few occasional colleagues  about how I could never discriminate regarding sexual preference and have always had an "open" household. They did not agree with my choice.   My children understand gay.  I have gay friends.   They have been in the company of same-sex couples, and to them, it is the same as everyone else.  A same-sex couple lived two doors down, and I merely told the boys that the ladies lived together, just like mom and dad do.  They know that some of mom's friends, who are boys, also have boyfriends - no big deal, no complicated explanation.  We are all people who love.

I moved my oldest son to Ottawa ON this past summer and my middle guy noticed all the rainbow stickers in the various shop windows.  He said they were beautiful, and wanted to know why they were there.  I told him that the stickers welcomed everyone, including gay people,  to their business.  Aidan has drawn and painted many rainbows since our trip this summer.  Aidan has Autism, so he understands the need for acceptance, and here is one of his rainbows.

Find your rainbow, xo vagi

Kindness, Understanding & Acceptance

This past weekend, my son (who has Autism) and his group went to their usual place for lunch.  They encountered some issues, which were handled very delicately by his worker.  Aidan, like many children on the Spectrum cannot handle noise.  This situation involved a crying baby, and for Aidan, this is something he cannot tolerate.

The mother was offended and gave one of the other parents a difficult time.  There was no reason for her to do so.  Nothing was said to her and the group moved sure and swift to an alternate seating location.

My son, turned to his worker, knowing he could not handle it and said,

"  I just cannot have a meltdown today"

We work so hard to give our special needs kids a voice, he has one and his needs were respected.  In my world, a triumph!

To all of us, we all need reminders.  Be kind, don't judge and be accepting of those who, to you, seem different.  

peace and love,

vagi

Summer, how I miss thee!

The past few weeks have been all about "prepping" for winter:  leaves raked & mulched, patio furniture away, trailer put into storage.  It made me realize how great this past summer was and reflect on my "best" ones to date.  Don't get me wrong, I have had some shitty ones too - but the season of warm sun, beaches and bbq's puts all of us in a better mood, It is carefree and much more relaxed - in my experience.

So here they are, in no particular order:

1.  When I was 17,   lots of "camp" parties, underage drinking & skinny dipping!  My dearest friend, Nicole commented this past summer, how I cannot swim when sober, but shockingly could make it out mid-lake in the pitch dark, to her diving platform - we agreed that "drunk-swimming" should be a national sport.

2.  Pregnant summer at 26 in Barcelona - really, could that be any better?    Waddling down to the beach every morning to gaze at beautiful Spanish bodies, no drunk swimming - belly made floating a breeze!

3.  This summer - summer of  age 45 and new trailer purchase - lots of trips with family and friends, doesn't get any better.

So, I will wait for the spring thaw and plan more fabulous adventures for summer of 2013.  We make our own memories, cherish yours!  xo vagi

Art of Doing Nothing

A few weeks ago my husband asked if I wanted to join him on a business trip to Bozeman, Montana. A full week without kids, work or distractions, I hesitated, due to the fact that R & R is an activity that normally gives me a nervous twitch.  But, it all came together with my in-laws moving in, my business partner watching the shop & I am on day 3 of official "doing nothing."

So here's what I have done: (in no particular order)
1. Strolled thru the local Wal Mart in search of cheap booze & listened to other people's kids whining & screaming
2.  Slept in past 10am & didn't get dressed until noon
3.  Went for a walk without kids or dogs
4.  Drove thru mountains & lapped up the scenery
5.  Joined my husband for after work cocktails, then a leisurely dinner
6.  Had wine at noon, 1pm, 1:45pm....one afternoon (you get the picture) while eating chips & watching bad daytime TV
7.  Drafted preface to my book (ok, I had to do something!)
8.  Sat at Starbuck's & read in peace, while again witnessed parents with whinning children
9. Had a fabulous facial/massage - think I orgasmed on the table:)

Ah, so now it is wine time & The View might be on, then maybe a nap.
Take time my modern, crazy Type A+++ ladies, you might be shocked how much you enjoy it!
Love from the mountains, xo vagi

From a lady

I really don't know where to go with this one - I hate to play the feminist card, but might have to pull it out from the bottom of the deck.  And that makes me sad.  In many ways.

A dear friend and gifted professional had to defend her worth via phone tonight due to a complaint from someone on her team.  She is she, he is a he.  I hate to travel this road, but we must.  I don't even know "he", but I know "her" and I know how she operates.

So guys, can we take direction, criticism, demands from a woman professionally?  I want to know.  Not from what I overheard tonight.

We are all equal  - that is what my boys see and hear - let's respect all.
peace and love all, xo vagi

Gray Matter

On Saturday night, like many Saturday nights my table was full of bright, wonderful women sharing wine, ideas and laughter.   We range in age and marital status, some are mothers, others not - most importantly,  we all share a single fundamental trait - independence.  So, like many "vino" nights around the globe, "that book" became part of the conversation.

The "Fifty Shades" phenomena has women flocking to bookstore shelves to "sneak" a peak at what they are missing.  The relationship of a 22 yr old college virgin, "Ana" and "Christian",  the sex-seeker has sold over 40 million copies - kudos to the publishing company.  I cannot comment, as I have yet to read it, only been subject to the response of those ladies around my table.

I don't think any of my gals could stomach the portrayal of a meek women, not confident in her own sexuality.  The comments ranged from, how unrealistic that a 22yr old virgin exists to what virgin gives a blow-job and loves gulping down sperm (not likely according to the table).  As more wine flowed we openly discussed masturbation, orgasms, sex toys, lovers - I don't think "Christian" would of approved.

So ladies, read it or not, but the consensus from the Saturday night wine club to "improve" our sex lives was to masturbate more and buy some toys.  Don't buy the book - write your own "story".

Cheers my readers!  xo vagi   - oh, if this table could talk!

Flames, Firemen & Forty-Five!

Aidan in his Firemen's Hat!

Well, a few weeks ago I turned 45 and it was a weekend full of celebrating with friends & family - I was truly blessed.  The Annual "Lisa's Birthday BBQ" brought in quite a crowd, including a visit from our local fire dept. (yes, they were all hot - the myth is true).  The flames too much to handle on my cake?  Nope.

My dear boy, Aidan, who has Autism thought there was too much smoke from the grilling and called 911.  

He was congratulated on knowing the safety rules, but got in trouble for not knowing the difference between smoke and fire!  Oh, one of those moments!  So he wrote a letter of apology - and I delivered.  

The fire Chief and staff were touched and happily gave him and his little brother a private tour and we hope now Aidan will know the difference.  Another adventure in motherhood & Autism - but the neighbours are still talking about the firefighters!

peace & love all, Vagi

Justice Served?

In Canada, a woman received a 6 year sentence after she drown her 2 young children.  It was stated she did this due to a custody battle,  and her desire to take them back to her native country (and fear of not being able to do so).  The Globe and Mail article was short, to the point and hidden beneath other crimes of the day - but it gathered 360 comments - all very disgusted for various reasons at our legal system.

Family law is broken and has been for many years.  I fought a custody battle in the mid 1990's, and other than a large debt load - I didn't gain anything.  Allyson, this mother, in Edmonton drown her sons, was it due to a mental breakdown, was she that desperate?

The why's or the sentence really are not the point -  the tragedy are the two little guys who never had a chance.  It should not be Family Law - but Children's Law - the young victims have the most to lose.

My two cents readers - vagi.

What I have been doing

What I have been doing....

My writing has taken a back seat to business ownership.  I love the challenges, the escape from my life with boys, dogs and laundry to my boutique of pink & frills.  We all need to feel beautiful and the pretty brides  above are great gals & feel confident and proud of their imperfections. 

 

I have to say, that I could not manage family & business life without my great business partner, Sarah and my partner at home.  Thank you both for your love & support.  To my readers, sorry for the laspe.

Love Vagi xo 

Change

Love it, hate it, avoid it?


We all have reactions to change.  Some of us thrive from it, others cower and hide our heads in the sand to avoid it, others just grin & bear it.  I have a restless nature, so change comes easily to me.  I have lived in various cities, countries and have had many people in and out of my life - both platonic & romantic.  I realized in my young adulthood that I can roll with the punches and survive when things don't always go as planned.  For my children, however, a different story.

I know that my youngest and oldest (minus the one in the middle) yearn for me to stay put in the same house, same city and build memories from that structure.  They want to walk through those same doors in their 20's & 30's and breathe the familiar smells & sit at the same table.  I think we all forget that physical space does not make memories.  Our memories remain in our heads & hearts.  Whether I am standing in a kitchen in Paris, London or my current location of  Sault Ste. Marie, it does not matter - the constant is family.  That familiar feeling they yearn  is love.

So for baby Owen who was in tears tonight, afraid of change, I reassured him, cuddled him, wrapped him tight in his blanket & told him that while the house may change, I am not going anywhere. The science kit & goggles will come with us!

Same to my readers - & thanks for caring what I have to say. xo vagi

Discrimination

My youngest son was watching (as always) some sports program and the subject was the original Harlem Globetrotters and the main focus was a player named "Goose." Some of you may know who he is, I had zero clue.  All that was going through my mind during the commentary from various "white" guys in suits how great this black ball player performed was the reality of the days of segregation.

Well, after all the accolades of this fellow, came the reality of "Negro" only motel rooms & washrooms and the difficulties of any famous "black" person at this time.  I sighed relief that while his basketball playing was stellar, his reality was being black in the USA during a time that created a divide.

Owen, did not understand.  He could not fathom why anyone could not go to the same bathroom or take a ride on any seat on the bus.  "What's different mommy?" he asked.   How true, what is different.  It gave me hope that the upcoming generation has no idea of judgement based on colour or race.  Hope that peace and love will happen and that I will live to witness it.

What Owen taught me is that children learn from their parents - a house free of racism brings forth a society of acceptance.  Thanks Owen.

p.s.  Sorry for the lack of writing - more to come.

xo Vagi

Hope

The Beatles almost got it right, when they sang out, "All you need is love," however, I disagree.  Hope, my friends is all we need.  Whether we are fighting a personal battle or attempting to survive a global disaster, the one thing that keeps us going;  as individuals, as a group, as a movement is hope.

It is the opposite of despair, it forces the runner to pick up his pace, it gives people in the most dire of situations the will to continue.

Hope will bring us together, make change and create (I hope) peace.

I wish all of you hope for this new year.
xo Vagi