The 13th to the 23rd

Those dates represent a span of time, an adventure, a meeting of new friends, reunions for old ones - a combination of hilarious moments, quiet times and celebrating (while wearing heels and drinking too much wine).  It represented taking time, not an easy task and something that we, as a society, in general have difficulty with.  We walked together, held each other up when needed, and probably quietly got annoyed with one or another - but we breathed in the release of daily obligations and deadlines and rituals.  Thank you, my fellow six Goddesses for our time together,  and Mykononos for the view,  til we all meet again.

Take time my loves, we all need it to love better.
xoxox vagi

Triple "F"

The Triple "F" I reference in the title is not a stream of fuck, fuck, fuck (although regarding my regular use of the word - very likely) - it represents Future Fantastic Feminists! I was reminded by a dear friend last week that my writing has taken a very, very back-seat in my life and it was time to get off the procrastination wagon and get back at it.  I did not want to regurgitate quotes or excerpts from #MeToo or Time's Up or any other recent or past movements to celebrate this International Women's Day - this is about our future.

I have had three beautiful ladies enter into my life in these past few months (one just yesterday) - our #TimeisNow belongs to them. They will be fierce, they will be leaders and they will be activists.  They are our change makers,  and I know that those gummy grins of today will be our sisters in solidarity in the near future.

This is for you:  Annie, Margo and Rosie.

Love Auntie Vagi, xoxo

Not Normal

Since moving to the USA (Colorado, actually) in late December of 2014, I have most certainly not been vocal with my opinions, probably due to the fact that I choose to live here and I cannot vote. We are lucky to live in a beautiful place surrounded by the front range of the rockies and among a progressive group of thinkers, filled with craft breweries and farm to table restaurants and organic grocery stores in abundance - even with all of this, my dinner conversation with these two lads pictured below stopped my fairytale dialogue.

The day began with a message from a bestie (nickname Mom #2) reporting on a crew celebrating a year of turning 40 and they all headed from Northern Ontario to Vegas, "We are all safe." Fuck, this is not normal.

The evening continued at the dinner table, discussing the details (with the dudes) and explaining it was exactly where their father was a few weeks ago, and the collective reaction was matter of fact, which did not help my attempt to wrap my head around the situation.  This is not the first one, nor the last - I recall very vividly the Oklahoma bombing in 1995 (not a shooting, but an event that should create heightened awareness)  and later writing an article for The Drive Magazine detailing the execution of Timothy McVeigh in June of 2001 - today brought me back to that (and the many others:  Orlando, Sandy Hook and close to my new home, the Aurora CO movie theatre shooting).  

During Clinton's era the Assault Weapon Ban became  law in 1994 (until it's expiration in 2005), those ban years saw a decrease in mass shootings; only 16 from 1995 to 2004, unlike the spike in 2005 to 2012 (27 incidents - source Mother Jones).  This is not normal, assault weapons are not necessary for general society.  I felt more comfortable in Paris this summer with military slinging their semi-automatics across their shoulders.  

We need a new normal - peace and love, vagi 

It's Been Awhile

My dear readers, I have been ignoring you, and I apologize.  Thoughts and words are continuously swirling around in my head and I haven't been giving them the time and consideration they deserve.  I learned some valuable lessons back in late January and didn't share them with you.  Now I will.

Triple Threat Trio 

I had the pleasure of these two great women (far left and middle) come and visit me at my "new" residence in Boulder County, Colorado.  My itinerary was drafted in full detail - a shared google doc that filled every minute of their precious three day visit from the Great White North (Canada).  This picture was from day one - a sunny spot after a fairly boozy lunch - delightful.  

Day two involved yoga, afternoon boutique perusing, Happy Hour with all the great ladies I know and then more bad decisions and adventure.  Day two didn't move beyond yoga - after a private session at a friend's home and some bubbly on my sunny back patio - it was time to get ourselves together and my husband arrived home (not feeling well).  The "monkey in the middle" is a nurse, took his vitals and my brunette "sister" took him to the closest E.R.  I picked up kids, contacted the restaurant and sent out a mass message that all was cancelled.  

I learned that I have an amazing support network - offers to take boys, feed everyone, bring me food to hospital and more...it was humbling and heartwarming.  I also learned that you cannot plan everything - life decides what you will do.  So while my "Triple Threat Trio" google doc still exists in my drive, it is a reminder of being present, taking a breath and letting things take care of themselves. I struggle with that concept - but  I am trying.  I did learn how thankful I am for the strong and loving women I have surrounded myself with, and I learned that sometimes you just need to sit beside your partner, hold their hand and tell them it will all be ok.

Stay present, be loving and learn from each other, xoxo Vagi.

Leaving it to Freddie and David

I have read multiple "2016 Fuck You and Good Riddance" messages busting all over social media. From a global, community and personal perspective, there is an agreed consensus that 2016 basically sucked ass.  I don't have any enlightened message or solution moving forward to 2017. I leave it to the tangled and honest lyrics from Freddie and Bowie.

peace and love to all of you,  and let's give 2016 a fabulous send-off! xo vagi

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a01QQZyl-_I

Can't we give ourselves one more chance

Why can't we give love that one more chance

Why can't we give love give love give love give love

Give love give love give love give love give love

Because love's such an old fashioned word

And love dares you to care for

The people on the (People on streets) edge of the night

And loves (People on streets) dares you to change our way of

Caring about ourselves

(Under Pressure:  Bowie,Queen)

Bits and Pieces

For weeks, many thoughts, issues, reflections,  and realities have been swirling around in my head - almost like a snow-globe when shaken and all the shiny bits and pieces do their dance before settling on the bottom.  I apologize in advance for the regurgitation of my consciousness, I just hope my written vomit is not as vile as the result of the American election that I witnessed as a Canadian ex-pat living in Colorado.   It is not even the reality that the voting population has put into power someone that I do not deem a leader - in any capacity, it really is a "Little Bit of Everything" as sung by Dawes.  It is the "suggested daily dosage, or the matador and the bull" as the lyrics suggest that contributed to my rant today.

In my native Canada, our immigration online portal crashed last night and the sweet gal at my morning caffeine stop is hopeful that I can adopt her.  But, my dear American neighbours, Canada is not the paradise that you perceive.  From the late 1800's until 1996 (yes the late 1990's) we displaced First Nation children from their loving parents and put them in "Residential Schools" to take the "Indian" out of them.  One of our Rock icon's, Gord Downie, frontman of the The Tragically Hip, is taking on our inhumane treatment of First Nations head on (while he is dealing with a terminal brain tumour).  My dear friend, Queer Advocate,  and proud First Nation said to me:

"Don't understand why it took 150 years and a famous white guy dying of cancer to bring reconciliation to the forefront. But I'll take it" @teddysyrette

So to learn more about our "less than perfect" society, check out Gord's swan song, "A Secret Path" and our flawless appearance might grow an ugly pimple or two:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGd764YU9yc

Both nations collectively:  Canada and America as close neighbours, distant relations, reluctant dinner guests - must try to dig through the shit and find common ground to build the bridge and grow. And while my opinion may be swayed by the fact that I have planted my family from the protective arms of loving "Mother Canada" into the Land of Opportunity - it is my optimism, my hope and my knowledge that there are good people out there who are like minded.

So yes, it is a a puzzle that has fallen apart - in both Countries.  But, people will still get up and go to work, children will go to school, and day to day life will continue, and it must.  I continue knowing my goal is to create opportunities for my children and raise them to be compassionate and loving humans.  It starts there.

Be kind and love each other, xo vagi

Joy

One morning this past week (like many mornings), I was driving my boys to school, only to quickly get to a meeting immediately after drop-off.  My reality is filled with work commitments, volunteer obligations, and family schedules and duties all swirling around in my head at once.  That was my brain heading to this meeting.

So while the endless lists were moving through my head like items on a conveyor belt, I had a moment, a glorious moment.  Moving toward me, in the opposite lane was a gentleman riding his bike.  He was of a "certain" age, close or past my own 49, his silver locks blowing in the wind, he was laden with a backpack and pushing hard with the traffic.  What stopped me to pause was his smile.  He had the biggest ear to ear grin that I have ever seen.  His commute involved only 2 wheels, not 4, he was physically challenging himself and he was in pure bliss.

I felt joy and calm and my list did a full stop.

My strong reaction to this bike riding commuter and his grin forced me to contemplate the thoughts around joy and what they mean.  If you search "joy" it is shocking how we are all searching for it, examining it and exploiting it.  It is my humble opinion that the joy we experience is not internal, (so Fuck that find 'joy in yourself' theory), it is rather a feeling caused by external forces that relate to our senses.  Sight, sound, smell, taste, touch and their finite qualities combined with an outside stimuli create that reaction of joy (pure pleasure, pure peace, pure happiness).  Perhaps if we stop for a moment, for only a few seconds as I did to appreciate that smile, we can let joy be felt.

Make your list, what makes you feel joy?  Here is mine:

Sticking my toes in the sand and feel the water lapping on my feet

The smell of a freshly bathed baby

Holding hands with my best friend

Watching my children sleep

Sitting outside and feeling the sun on my face

A sunset

Don't over analyze your joy, just let it happen.

This blog is dedicated to my friend who continuously reminds me of the little things, and time with her gives me much joy, to A.W., love vagi xo